The Importance of Emotional Stability: Unraveling Hamlet and Ophelia's Tragic Romance

In my senior year of high school, I had a literature class in which we were often assigned to read famous literary works. That class challenged me quite a bit considering that english is not my first language and those classic literary works aren't easy to read. I realized some of them required certain level of reading and comprehension skills. We read from Shakespeare to Jane Austen and Mark Haddon's "The curious incident of the dog in the night-time. All of them, really intriguing stories with deep morals and insights that leave you thinking for a long time and bring out your philosophical side. At least that was what happened to me. I consider myself to be a pretty introspective person, but this took me to another level and it pushed me over the edge. This class made me think about issues I hadn't thought about before in ways I hadn't thought about before. Now, I understand why they are considered literary classics, their fame is well deserved. I strongly encourage all of you to make time to read at least a few of the many classic literary works that all intellectuals and the literary sector recommend. Start with the clichés, but please start sometime. You won't regret it, the sooner the better.

Today I share with you my thoughts about Hamlet's relationship with Ophelia, a romance that end up in tragedy as every Shakespeare story.

SPOILER ALERT:

If you haven't read Hamlet yet and you planned to do it, I warn you at once that this essay contains spoilers.

Context: "Hamlet" is one of the many famous plays written by the famous writer William Shakespeare that you have surely heard of. The plot revolves around Prince Hamlet of Denmark, who seeks revenge for the death of his father, the king, at the hands of his uncle Claudius, who then marries Hamlet's mother, Gertrude. The play deals with themes such as revenge, madness, betrayal, political corruption and reflection on life and death. The famous line "To be or not to be: that is the question" comes from Hamlet's soliloquy in the play, which reflects on existence and adversity.

If you wish to read the complete play, which I strongly recommend, check the following link: https://www.sparknotes.com/shakespeare/hamlet/

21th December, 2021.

What is Hamlet’s Relationship with Ophelia?

Years ago, William Shakespeare wrote and delighted us with Hamlet, a play based on deep emotions with hate, betrayal, disbelief, and a thriller ambiance. The intensity of these factors in the story is what makes it one of the greatest tragedies in literary history. Is a story that explores controversial and complex topics such as mortality and the uncertainty of life. We are witnesses of a series of unfortunate and tragic events that inevitably makes us deeply analyze and even justify or question specific aspects of friendship, family, and love. Hamlet’s relationships seem greatly affected by the murder of his father and the way others dealt with it. Nevertheless, one in particular was doomed and destroyed leading to madness and suicide to the other person. Hamlet and Ophelia’s relationship was as complicated as Hamlet’s life, the problem is that this doesn’t only affected Hamlet, but also Ophelia, who suffered more than necessary despite not even deserving that pain. Hamlet and Ophelia had an unstable relationship because love was not a priority for him at that time due to multiple factors such as being mentally unstable, his mother’s devastating betrayal, and his paranoia.

Love is a very complicated thing. It's hard to understand and easy to feel. Love is everywhere and is for everyone, but not everyone treasures it, not everyone is willing or knows how to care, preserve and keep it. Hamlet might have genuinely loved Ophelia, but due to his mother’s betrayal and his father’s death, he wasn’t mentally in a good place and as consequence, he couldn’t love her properly. Love was simply not his priority. It couldn’t be, at least not in that moment of his life. Hamlet's life was a mess, he had a lot to deal with at the same time, so it was understandable that love was the last thing he could think about at that moment. He was depressed and on a constant trip of hate and guilt, which is the reason why he was miserable through all the play. His father’s murder was the only thing on his mind. His sense of duty left no space for anything else. His passion could only be destined for hatred and revenge. We can confirm his misery through his melancholic monologues, as he says, “How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable, Seem to me all the uses of this world!, Fie on ’t, ah fie! 'Tis an unweeded garden, That grows to seed. Things rank and gross in nature,” expressing how unfair life has been with him. He knows and accepts that he is broken as there is a point in the play where he recognized it to Ophelia by saying, “I am very proud, revengeful, ambitious, with more offenses at my beck than I have thoughts to put them in, imagination to give them shape, or time to act them in.” Then, when he says, “You shouldn’t have believed me, since we’re all rotten at the core, no matter how hard we try to be virtuous,” it’s as if he had lost faith in humanity, faith in life, faith in goodness, in everything he thought he knew and loved. He barely stands himself, that feeling of guilt and sometimes hatred towards himself and others consumes him every day, all the time, so it could be said that he wasn’t able to love and be at peace with himself and the key of a healthy romantic relationship is first to love yourself. That’s the first prerequisite to being able to begin a relationship or even love someone else because, in the end, you can’t love and respect somebody if you don’t love and respect yourself first. How can you love and respect someone else if you can’t even do that for yourself? If you can’t care for yourself, the most important person in your life, how could you care for someone else? You have to be happy to be in a happy relationship. You have to love who you are, where you are, what you do, and how you do it in order to be able to love, admire and respect someone else the way you do it with yourself, the way they deserve it.

Hamlet was indeed in an exasperating and unbelievable situation since his uncle, who took his father’s life and stripped him of his right as the legitimate heir to the throne, became his stepfather. His world was upside down and he couldn't straighten it out. His mother married his uncle not much longer after his father died, which he felt like a slap in the face, he felt his mother's betrayal as if she had betrayed not only his father but him. He got mad at Gertrude because she shamelessly “found love again” in his uncle as soon as his father died, which he expressed by saying “Within a month, Ere yet the salt of most unrighteous tears, Had left the flushing in her gallèd eyes, She married. O most wicked speed… But two months dead—nay, not so much, not two. So excellent a king, that was to this Hyperion to a satyr. So loving to my mother.” This situation gave birth to his misogynist and disrespect towards women. His mother being and showing indifference and insensitivity about his father's death made him saw his mother in a different way. In a non-honorable way. He pushed Ophelia away because of his mother's betrayal. He thought that she was playing with him and eventually Ophelia would also disappoint him just as her mother did. His disappointment for his mother’s behavior gives place to his hate towards women, believing that all women might be the same and it’s in their nature to play with men and make them fools as he says, “Get thee to a nunnery, go. Farewell. Or, if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool, for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. To a nunnery, go, and quickly too.” Later, once again he criticized women’s “common demeanor” by saying, “I have heard of your paintings too, well enough. God has given you one face and you make yourselves another. You jig and amble, and you lisp, you nickname God’s creatures and make your wantonness your ignorance. Go to, I’ll no more on ’t. It hath made me mad. I say we will have no more marriages. Those that are married already, all but one, shall live. The rest shall keep as they are. To a nunnery, go;” where he states that women use and deceive men by using their attributes and their charms to fool men and as soon as they achieve their purpose they will leave and eventually betray men. This showed us again that he is implicitly talking about his mother actions as he also says, “but even so I could accuse myself of such horrible crimes that it would’ve been better if my mother had never given birth to me;" now blaming his mother to bring him to this "cruel, unfair, and miserable world". His mother’s decisions made him perceive women in a different way, so naturally, this new perception ended up significantly affecting Hamlet’s and Ophelia’s relationship.

Hamlet’s paranoia but assertive thoughts about everyone wanting to get information out of him, Ophelia included, was also one of the big factors that made him force himself to withdraw his love for Ophelia. When Ophelia rejects Hamlet, because of his father’s orders, he already was in a dark place, so Ophelia’s actions might have only made things worse. He was already hurt and down, Ophelia’s rejection took him deeper. After his mother’s “betrayal,” Ophelia’s rejection was like the sign or proof that what he thought about women was real, he thought that Ophelia was doing the same to him. It was the drop that spilled the glass. So, when Polonius arranges their meeting and Ophelia is willing and allowed to continue her romance with him, he can’t help but suspect and believe the worst. Hamlet suspected that Ophelia had been also sent by Claudius to get information from him just as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern did before. We confirm this as he later asked her in their meeting, “Where’s your father?” from out of nowhere since their conversation had nothing to do with his father and he said it suddenly with no reason, which she answers by saying he was at home and as reply Hamlet says, “Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the fool no where but in ’s own house,” letting us know that he knows or at least suspect that Polonius must be hiding somewhere near listening to their conversation or doing something else to take information out of him, which he is indeed. So, Hamlet insulted her and cruelly rejected her partly because he felt it and to stick with the plan about making them all believe that he was getting crazy. He couldn’t trust anybody, and he couldn’t help but think and wait for the worst since the worst is what happened and kept happening to him.

Hamlet did love Ophelia once, he actually said it to her and after her death, he states her love for her by saying “ I did loved Ophelia. Forty thousand brothers could not with all their quantity of love make up my sum.” We also know that Hamlet wrote for her love letters before as Polonius declares and read them out loud to prove Hamlet’s genuine love for Ophelia, where he professes his devotion and “unconditional love” for her by writing “doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.” Given this, it’s evident that their relationship decayed after his father’s death. Their relationship collapsed due to Hamlet’s loss, hate, and thirst for revenge. His mother’s actions and behavior after his father’s death, his uncle occupying his throne and murdering his father, and people constantly checking on him and acting insensible about his father’s death were the problems that lead him to misery and unhappiness. He was in a constant fight between himself, planning his revenge against his uncle, and dealing with Claudius' allies, which made him take love in the background, or just withdraw it out of his life and despise it. Love couldn’t be his priority, he had more important things to deal with and many new and strong feelings to process. His tragic life changed him and made him perceive things in a completely different way. Pain changed him as he was full of hate and melancholy. He was depressed and disappointed with people and life. Everything he had believed in before, the people he believed in, the reality he had lived was suddenly falling apart. Love was a joke compared with his problems.

This story explains and reflects the importance of self-love and emotional stability before getting involved in an intimate way with someone else. Given this, I encourage you to work on yourself for yourself as soon as possible so that you don't find yourself in a situation like Hamlet. So that when love comes to you, you are prepared for it and do not make such catastrophic mistakes as Hamlet did. Be responsable with people's emotions and hearts. Good Luck. :)

Works Cited

William Anderson (Schoolworkhelper Editorial Team), "Shakespeare’s Hamlet: Did Hamlet Love for Ophelia?," in SchoolWorkHelper, 2019, https://schoolworkhelper.net/shakespeares-hamlet-did-hamlet-love-for-ophelia/.